A little...blah

When I was in sales (20 years ago) one of the lessons I learned that has served me well is this principal: Business is always good. Always. You might have not had a sale in 2 months, but if someone asks, business is always good. You don't have to fabricate data or lie about your production. But business is always good. why? Because no one wants to buy from a salesperson who is on his way out, can't sell his product, or is just miserable. They want to do business with someone who believes in their product and sells it like crazy. Business is always good.

Along the way, though, I learned to undergird that attitude with truth. You can still believe in your product while admitting it's a tough season.

Pastors of churches like PCC, as authentic as we can be, often hide behind the notion that 'business is good.' The last vestige of mask-wearing for innovative church pastors involves 2 areas: marriage and the blues. We can admit to struggling with temptation, sin, parent issues, being flawed, etc. But these 2 things...well, we just don't want to talk about them.

So, I thought I'd venture out a little and say, "business is still good, but I'm kind of struggling anyway."

You see, creative types tend to move in 'seasons' where everything is good sometimes and everything not at others. It's not really grounded in circumstances or even reality. Sometimes, everything is a disaster, but I feel great. Other times circumstances can be incredible, but I feel...blah.*

This is one of those seasons. I'm a little overwhelmed...a little tired...a little unsure of some decisions that need to be made...a little lacking in direction. As I described it to a friend, I feel a little unsteady. It's not a long term thing and I don't need a thousand pieces of advice about how "the sun coming out tomorrow" and "just whistle while I work". It's a short season and you just have to work your way through it. I'm not miserable. Nothing is particularly wrong. I'm just a little...blah. It's ok. Even the pastor can go through these times. (Yes, men have these seasons, too. They just don't know how to talk about them. Hopefully, someone reading this will feel inspired to share a little about what they're going through with a spouse or friend.) There is no shame in it. It's just part of life.

And, just to be sure we're clear, business is still very good!

*having struggled with depression in the past, I'm always aware that it can happen again. I'm quick to intervene if I see some red flags and have friends and family that serve as an 'early warning system', too. There is a difference between being 'blah' and being depressed, though one can lead to the other. Pastors who struggle with this should read Wayne Cordeiro's Leading on Empty.