Thoughts on life, leadership and the movement called the church by Brian C. Hughes, Senior Pastor

by Brian C. Hughes, Senior Pastor

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Vow of Priority

Today, I said "To really be fulfilled in life, you have to find the ONE."  According to Jesus, God is the One.

Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment." (Matthew 22:37-38, NIV)

God didn't necessarily prescribe what goes in the #3 slot, or 4, 5, 6, or 7. But He clearly prescribes who should own the #1 position: Himself. God is the ONE.

The other position He prescribes is the second slot.

Jesus said, "And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Matthew 22:39, NIV)

And, in Genesis 2:24 (NIV), "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

When you put all this together, it's pretty clear: Your spouse is the TWO.

Now, I urge you to pray for the next five days (or five out of seven days this week).  If you are married, I am asking you to try praying together with your spouse.  If you are not married, you are welcome to pray alone or pray with a friend.  I'm going to give you some tips below and a suggestion about what to pray for today (or for your first day).  Tomorrow I'll give you more help and together, we'll see some great things happen this week. 

First, for married folks who are uncomfortable or not used to praying together, here are some steps you might want to use at first:

1)  One of you has to ask the other if they want to pray.  I suggest that this comes from the husband, but it doesn't have to.  If your spouse asks this question, there is only one answer:  'YES'.  (If, however, your spouse says no, don't push it.  Just go and pray alone.)

2)  There are three ways to do this:
  1. 'One person prays for both of you'.  In this case, one of you prays on behalf of you both.  The one who is silent is not observing, but simply agreeing in prayer with what the other is saying.  In other words, your silence is not passive...you ARE participating in the prayer, just not with words.
  2. 'You dial and I'll hang up'.  In this prayer, one of you begins and the other one finishes.  If you are 'hanging up', how do you know when it's your turn?  Well, the other person should squeeze your hand or maybe say 'amen' so that you know it's your turn.
  3. 'Conversational Prayer'.  This is where you both pray out loud, interchangeably.  It's the two of you talking to God, very freely, very conversationally.  When one of you senses that the prayer is ending, you simply say something like, "We pray in Jesus name, Amen."  
3)  When the prayer is over, you might share a kiss or a hug and talk about what it was like to pray together and what it meant to you.

Tips on Prayer:
1)  Prayer is not magic.  It's simply you and God talking together.  It might be uncomfortable, but it isn't complicated.  
2)  We bow or kneel in reverence.  I like to think about the idea that I'm in the presence of the King.  Royalty is in the room.  I bow because of that.  (I have often taken prayer walks, though, so it really depends on the situation.)  I also close my eyes out of reverence and for another reason - it helps keep me from being distracted.  There is nothing magical about closing my eyes.  I have prayed many times with my eyes open, for all kinds of reasons.  But for the sake of this exercise, I recommend you close your eyes and bow or kneel.
3)  If it comes from the heart, you cannot get it wrong.  I'm serious.  There is no 'wrong' way to pray, unless it's not sincere.  So just say to God whatever you want - whatever is on your mind.


Prayer guide for today 
(This is just a suggestion; you can do it any way you want):

Theme:  Pray that God would be #1 and that your spouse (if you're married) would be #2.

For Married and Single people:

I suggest that your prayer begin with a time of thanksgiving.  Thank God for the ways that He has blessed your life, and acknowledge that all Good things come from Him.  So, you might thank him for your friends, your spouse, kids, family, church, job, stuff, house...whatever.  Sometimes, when I pray, I like to be quiet for a minute while I'm thanking God and let Him remind me of something I wouldn't normally think of.  

Next, I suggest you begin by confessing to God anything you feel has taken the #1 slot.  Ask Him to forgive you and to show you how to make Him a priority in your life.  

Then (if you are married) confess to God any way you feel you have allowed your spouse to get pushed from their rightful place as #2 (kids, career, recreation, etc.).  Ask Him to help you re-prioritize your life.  Ask Him to show you what to do, and make a commitment to Him that if He will clearly tell you what He wants you to do, you will do whatever He asks.   

Finally, ask God to help you be faithful to Him this week.  I often say something like, "God, open my eyes today and for the next few days.  I really want to see you working around me.  Help me not to miss what is happening."  I can't tell you how many times God has answered that prayer with an acute awareness and I saw Him working where I would never have seen Him before.

Now, when the prayer is over, let me encourage you to journal or to discuss with your spouse (or  both) and list no more than 3 concrete things that you feel God is leading you to change to make God #1 and your spouse #2.  You will use this list in your prayer tomorrow, so you really need to do it.

For the unmarried person, remember this:  If your future includes marriage, God already knows who that person is.  You might pray about that, too!  

Hope this helps.  I'll have more to say tomorrow.

2 comments:

JulieS said...

Fabulous service and message. Fabulous Sunday. As always, a great blog ...&.... did we witness a miracle this morning when we saw Brian singing a country song? ~ I think we did, see, miracles DO still happen, both in the smaller things and in the big things! ~ Way to go Brian, you could probably have a second career as a country singer ....

Anonymous said...

In a group with people who are single(beyond the first marriage)and considering marriage in the future how do you apply the priority factor you have discussed here? The question posed.....the commitment of a parent to a child feels like it comes before a step-parent or second marriage.

E.N.U.F.