Help Me Help You

One of the great and wonderful challenges for every lead teaching pastor is the decision about which subjects and topics and scriptures to teach at the weekend services.  Most folks never think about this. But from the pastor's point of view, there is a very, very finite amount of time we get.  There are 52 weekends.  Some of them are already taken with 'given' topics.  You kind of already know what you're going to be talking about near the 25th of December!

Some will say, "Just Preach the Bible!!!"  OK.  Great.  I love the Bible.  But that's frankly spoken like someone who doesn't do what I do.  Each week, each series, each Sunday - I long to hear from God and help connect spiritual truth with spiritual seekers.  We all wrestle with issues that God cares about - family, marriage, work, finances, sickness, death, mourning, depression, discouragement, wealth, friendships, dating, sex, balance, parenting, just to name a few!

From the other perspective, we can start not from our life, but from the pages of the Bible.  I was reading in Exodus recently and found myself frustrated that God provided us with so many details about the measurements and makeup of the ark and the tabernacle.  I know why Moses needed to know that stuff...why do I need to know!!??

And it can be challenging to understand everything we read:

• Where did Cain get his wife?
• Why did God seem so mean in the Old Testament?
• Was Jonah really swallowed by a fish?  Come on!
• What is this thing about speaking in tongues?

So, we read the Bible and, if we're paying attention, it will prompt some questions.  This is part of the journey, and it is part of how God speaks to us.

Now, back to the planning.  I am away for 3 days this week to plan.  I'm looking around, trying to figure out and discern what are the topics and scriptures we should be talking about in the coming months.

So, help me help you.  What are the things people are wrestling with that you feel would be helpful if the church would address?  What scriptures are more that simple trivia for people, but would help them sort out meaningful choices if they only knew what those texts meant?  What decisions are in front of folks today where they really need to hear a word from God?

If you could help me help you, PCC can be better equipped to meet people where they are.  One of our core values is to be relevant.  So, help me help you.

You can respond to this blog, post something on my facebook page (brian.curtis.hughes), send me a facebook message, or email me at brian@pccwired.net.

Look forward to some awesome weekend experiences in the weeks ahead!

Brian

So, How Do We Tell Right from Wrong?

Today at PCC was the last day in the series about surprising moments in Jesus' life. I have really enjoyed this series because it gave us a chance to take a fresh look at some long-standing assumptions about Jesus.

But today's topic is the hardest, in my opinion.  (You can watch the message online at pccwiredlive.net.)  Jesus did judge actions and behaviors.  He categorized them as right or wrong; good or evil; acceptable in the Kingdom of God or not, and other ways.

This creates a problem for the Christ follower.  On the one hand, we are loathe to judge people.  Sincere Christ followers feel under-qualified for the behavioral assessment of someone else based on two primary truths:

1) We are not God.  He knows things we don't.

2) We are guilty, too.  "Who am I to judge?" we say.

So, if you came to PCC today - either online or at either of our physical campuses - you saw that Jesus addressed sin, but you might have left wondering what, exactly, you can do with this truth.  I'm glad you asked!

Here are 9 guidelines that I use when confronting someone about their lifestyle, behavior or choices:

1) Relationship.  Jesus' model is one of relationship.  He knew a person on some level and they knew him.  In the context of that relationship, Jesus would speak truth into someone's life.  Calling strangers names and getting in their face about their sin - even if you are right - is counterproductive.  Instead of helping them, it hurts them.  You earn the right to speak truth to someone when you have a mutual relationship with them.

2) Permission.  I don't confront anyone without their permission.  I will usually say, "I love you and I care about you.  And because of that, I was wondering if you would allow me to share something I see that could be helpful to you about your life (or the way you live)."  I never make an observation about someone's choices where I don't gain their permission.  With very close friends, the permission is implied.  We've explicitly asked permission of each other more than once, and we're beyond having to ask permission now.  But I always need to be sure I have permission.

3) Differentiation.  It's their life, not mine.  I almost always say, "You get to choose.  I'm not telling you that you have to do anything.  You can live your life however you want to."

4) Support.  Almost always, I say something like, "Whether you decide to make a change or not, I want you to know that I'm with you.  I support you, no matter what.  Even if you don't agree with me."  This ensures that they don't wonder if you are laying your friendship on the line.  That would be threatening, and people don't usually change because of a relational threat.

5) Self-Awareness.  Acknowledge that you know you are also imperfect.  "Look, the truth is that I have some things I need to correct, too.  I know that I'm imperfect.  Nothing I say is meant to imply that I think I'm more right or better than you in any way."

6) Community.  Remind them that we are better together.  That's why you're talking with them!  The Bible says "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work...Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecc 4:9,12, NIV1984)

7) Language.  When I get to the actual lifestyle or behavior to discuss, I recast the language.  I don't mind using 'right' and 'wrong' or the word 'sin'.  But often the conversation gets sidetracked since these words can come across as judgmental.  The discussion can end before it ever gets started.  Instead, I talk about the best life that God has for a person.  God wants us to have the best life possible. God's best for us comes when we live the way he wants us to live.  I say, "I think you can experience a life that is even better than then one you have now..."

8) I could be wrong.  Some folks have expressed their discomfort with me when I say this, but I believe it to my core:  I can always be wrong.  I am sure I know about Jesus Christ, and everything else is at least slightly less certain.  I have to acknowledge that God is God and I am not.  As a human, it's possible I could be wrong about something, including a particular perspective on right and wrong.  I can stand on my feelings and make a strong case from the Bible, but I have to acknowledge, in sincere humility, that I will stand before God one day and He's going to tell me where I hit the mark and where I missed it.  To refuse to acknowledge my own fallibility is to be arrogant, in my opinion, and makes this conversation far less potent.

9) Reciprocate.  If there is not a person or a small group of people to whom you have given permission to speak truth about your lifestyle, behavior and choices, you should make this a priority.  I have these people in my life.  Jeff Boggess, my good friend who is also the Senior Pastor of Atlee Community Church, is one of those.  We've given each other this kind of permission, and it's made us both better - better husbands, dads, pastors, Christ followers, leaders, teachers, etc.  To not have someone like this in your life risks you being seen as good enough to tell others what to do but too good to have someone  do the same for you.  You don't have room for a bunch of these people, but you need a few.

So, you have some tools now.  Use them.  And let's help each other live the best life God has for us!

Reflections on the 10 Year Celebration

Sunday was one of the highlights of my life.  It was one of the most exhilarating experiences to celebrate what God has been doing in and through PCC for 10 years.  

Ten Years!  It's hard to believe.  Sunday, September 30 was a fitting celebration to mark the moment.   Here are some of the highlights of the evening from my perspective:

• We were all together...PCC folks along with a larger family, from community leaders to partners to other churches to good friends. It helped me to really see that there is a larger fabric into which PCC is woven.  After the celebration, I was thanking Tim Kennell, Pastor at Powhatan Mennonite Church, for being with us and praying for us.  I told him it meant a lot to us to have his support.  He stopped me, looked right into my eyes, and firmly said something like this:  'We are counting on PCC to succeed.  If you don't win, that's a reflection on my Jesus!  We're rooting for you, and we're in this together!'  Wow.  I can't tell you how humbling that is.  Even other churches are pulling for us!

• And then our partners from Middle District and Virginia Baptists, both passionately and tangibly expressing their belief that PCC has made a difference and will still make a difference in the future.  Jim Hamacher and Glenn Akins are such an encouragement to me, others on our staff, and our church.  In addition to a heavy financial investment in what we do, much of what they do for us is quiet and behind the scenes.  They they are partnering with us in many potent ways.

• Of course, having one of my closest friends cheer us on and affirm our church was a highlight for me.  Jeff and Lanette Boggess have become a lifeline for me and Susan and we count it a great privilege to have them a true friends.  We do life together, can completely be ourselves and share a common point of reference with the similar path God has put us on. 

For the record, I never put the impala poop in my mouth (they called them 'impala seeds' in South Africa).  Jeff did that, along with Hank Brooks and Mark Jenkins.   They had an Impala Seed Spitting Contest.  Here's the proof:

• Bob Beasley and Dr. Margaret Meara have both been enormous helps to our church.  In fact, we wouldn't be where we are today without them.  And if it had not been for the generosity and flexibility of Dr. Meara and her team, we might have never even started!  The words they spoke about our church were very humbling to hear.  They've been very good friends to PCC.

• The worship that night was one of the most moving I've ever experienced in my entire life.  Beth and her team are so incredibly gifted, and they crafted an environment that eliminated the distractions and had us focused, celebrating, crying, worshiping and in the very presence of God.

• It took an army of people to pull off the evening.  Many people from PCC threw their full resources behind it - from food to organization to traffic control to technology to logistics.  It was a LOT, and it took months of planning.  But I just want to highlight one group.  Did you know that Powhatan Mennonite Church sent a group of people, including their pastor and his wife, to come and make our evening very special?  In order for more of our folks to enjoy the evening, their volunteers worked in a variety of areas, including handling all of the childcare for a very large group of kids.    It occurs to me, they love their church, but they love THE Church, too.  What a blessing they are to the Kingdom of God!

So, now it's time to begin our journey into the next 10 years.  Greater things are yet to come!

It's Easy to Live in a Bubble

Have you ever seen this game?  I've seen it at carnivals and as a half-time contest at a pre-season football game I went to see this summer.  It's a little odd - a race to see who can be the fastest runner inside of a plastic bubble.  I've never done it, but it seems like there would be little air, it would be hot and stuffy, and it'd be a little hard to maneuver.  Plus, you're in there all alone...Where's the fun in that!?

It just seems so ridiculous.  Why would anyone run in a bubble?

Except I do.  I know a lot of others do, too.  And it happens with good intentions.  Let me explain.

We have a LOT of work to do, right?  A never ending stream of emails, meetings, evaluations.  I heard Bill Hybels say one time that  he only does three things: prepare for meetings, attend meetings and debrief after meetings.  Pastors like me add message preparation, small groups, Bible studies, devotional and vision-casting preparation for various gatherings, writing weddings, leading leaders and creative planning, some care and counseling, staff management....

You can make your own list, but the point is the same:  We all have a long to-do list of things that are all screaming for your attention.  So, what we do is close the door.  Circle the wagons.  Work harder.  Keep your head down.  Stay focused.

And before you know it, you live in a bubble.  The only thing you do that is work related are the things directly related to your work.

But there is a world outside of the bubble!  This world does relate to your work, but it will never scream at you.  You'll never get an angry email for not coming or for not being a part.  And yet, ironically, not being a part of it can be costly to you.

What I'm talking about are networks and other groups that indirectly have some relationship to what you do. We often say that we don't have time, but the truth is that these enhance our lives, make us better at what we do, and they often result in tangible improvements in our organizations.

I'm a part of a few of these.  I confess that I sometimes wonder if I really have the time to go to the meetings, but I'm always glad that I do.  Let me share two with you.  Hopefully these will get your wheels turning for networks that you can connect into.

Rotary.  I joined the local Rotary Club in the county where I live a couple of years ago.  I went because I figured it would be good to get out of the bubble that I work in (my church) and extend our reach a little bit, stretching my legs and meeting some new people.  What I didn't expect was that this membership would have such a huge impact at PCC.  I've had a chance to speak twice at the club, giving folks a little taste of what our church is like, and some have come to PCC.  I've met some new folks and made some new friends.  I've been able to contribute to the work of the club - which makes a difference in the community.  And I've become a better leader along the way, learning from other leaders in the club.

Tranformational Pastors.  I'm a member of a group of pastors who get together, with our spouses, for 3 days each year in September.  We meet at different places around the state of Virginia.  Last week we were in Roanoke, and it reminded me anew just how critical this group has become in my life and in my work.  When we first started gathering five or six years ago, I was new and didn't know anyone.  But now, these colleagues have become a critically important part of my ministry.  Throughout the year, I send them questions about something new I've encountered and they respond with how they've handled similar situations, advice about what to look out for, and assurances that they will pray for me.  I can call them when I'm in a bind and find some help.  They remind me that I'm not alone.   Rather, I'm a part of a larger family.

For me, networks are no longer an optional activity, left on the fringes of my schedule with question marks and thoughts of 'if I have time'.  They are important enough for me to step out of the bubble and make a priority.  They make me better and they are a benefit, not a distraction, to my church.

So, if you are not a part of any kind of network outside of your church or organization, I encourage you to find one and get involved. They'll never scream for your attention, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve to have it.

A Letter to PCC folks from Pastor Brian

Hey, Gang!  What a phenomenal week this has been at PCC!  I thought I'd share with you 7 important things you ought to know.

1) We baptized 30 people today!  Wow!  It never gets old to me when people find their way to Jesus and go public with their decision to follow Him.  It still blows my mind that God uses us in their journey.

2) Attendance is on the rise at Westchester, Powhatan and Online!  Summer always sees people scatter.  It's really encouraging to see lots and lots of people returning to church.

3) Now is a GREAT time to invite some friends to PCC.  This series about looking at the surprising moments in Jesus' life is a genuine, raw, unfiltered look at who Jesus really was.  It's refreshing to me, and I know it will be to your friend who says he doesn't like church or the one who says she doesn't think the church is ready for her.  We're ready for them - and we will never single them out or put them on the spot.    Invite someone!

4) I met several people today who said they were ready to get involved and serve at church.  We can only reach our full potential when everyone is in the game.  There has never been a better time to volunteer.  Email me here and I'll help get you connected!

5) Lots of people are asking about our 3rd campus in Fluvanna.  I am SO excited about it, and it seems like every week more people are committing to that campus - people who are already a part of PCC and folks who live in that area.  We're still making plans and working out the details, but the prospects for that campus are phenomenal!  More info is coming soon.

6) The book I referred to in my message today is Beautiful Outlaw by John Eldredge.  It was given to me as a gift from some good PCC friends it is fantastic!

7) Finally, you may not have noticed that the closing song today was written by some of the talented folks on our creative worship team.  You can watch/hear the song by clicking here, the song starts between 59 and 60 minutes.  God has brought some unbelievably gifted people to us and it's a real blessing to have them using those gifts at PCC.  Way to Go, Laura and Matthew!

Hope to see you next Sunday - some crazy awesome things are coming for our church and you don't want to miss them!

Good Timing is sometimes unexpected

Today, we began a new series called Shift: ReDiscover Jesus.  Here's the intro to the series, in case you missed it.

It was a fantastic day, great to be back.  You can watch the entire service here.

The basic idea of today's message is that Jesus made some surprising moves during his life based on his keen understanding of God's timing.  While he ultimately came to die, he spent three years dodging, hiding, running, withdrawing, and showing up in disguise in order to die at the right time.  That may sound a little crass to you, but it's the truth.  There was a time for him to face dying head on.  But there was also a time for him to avoid dying.

We learned today that that purpose is intimately tied to timing, and that good timing is always God's timing.   So, taking our cue from Jesus' life, we saw that we need to find out what God wants us to do, and when He wants us to do it.  This can only come from an investment of time with Him.  Not the obligatory 5 or 10 minutes, but real time.  Time enough to develop a relationship.

In John 10, Jesus uses the word picture of sheep (us) and a gatekeeper and shepherd (Jesus).  He says, "The gatekeeper opens the gate for [the sheep], and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out...I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me" (John 10:3, 14, NIV). The only way to know the voice of the Gatekeeper - to KNOW the Shepherd - is to spend time with Him.

Now, there is one interesting story that goes against the grain of what I taught today.  It happens in John 2.  Jesus is at a wedding and his mother informs him that they've run out of wine.  He replies to her, "Why do you involve me? My hour has not yet come.” (John 2:4).  But then he acts anyway!  Elsewhere, when a reference is made to the 'time not being right', Jesus acts accordingly.  But in this instance, after acknowledging what appears to be the wrong time, Jesus changes the water into wine!  Was he giving in?  Was this favoritism towards his mother?  Did he just ignore God's timing?

I think it's something else.  And I'm planning on teaching about it on September 30.  (Sorry...come to church and find out!)  That evening, by the way, is our 10 year Anniversary Celebration.  Hope you can make it to church that morning and that evening.  It's going to be a LOT of fun that day!  Get your 10-year celebration tickets here.

The end of one Adventure, the Beginning of a new one

This past weekend was my 'final hurrah':  A weekend of fishing in Hatteras - including a day in the Gulf Stream -  with my Dad, my boys, my brother, and my good friend John Tiller.   (see the bottom of this post for some pics!)

I got back into Powhatan Monday (Labor Day) afternoon and had a special dinner with my family that night to mark the end of my Sabbatical.   We sat around the dinner table and looked at some of the pictures that marked the memories.  We only looked at some of the pictures, mind you, since we took over 3,000 this summer!

It was a special time.  We savored the experiences we had together.  This unique gift gave us the privilege to experience things we'd never done before, some of which we will likely never do again.  There is no way to adequately describe what a powerful and important summer this was for my family.  I'm am deeply grateful to PCC and to the Lilly Endowment's Clergy Renewal Program for the time and resources that each gave to me.

So, I went to bed last night with three emotions that didn't mix well:
1) Sadness.  Our Summer Of A Lifetime was over.  It was so good, it was kind of hard to see it end.

2) Excitement.  I would wake up and go into my office for the first time in a very long time.  I was looking forward to catching up on all that I had missed, hearing from my friends about what was happening at our church, and just being reunited with them.

3) Anxiety.  I didn't know much about what had happened, but I knew the church had moved forward.  That's what I wanted.  It was a good thing.  But 3 months is a long time.  It honestly felt a little odd.  I felt a little like...an outsider.  And I was also worried that I would make a misstep or do something wrong or say something wrong.  I want to honor all the great things that have happened and the great work our team has done.  So, there was a natural worry about what 'coming back' would look like.

So, how did today turn out?  It was fantastic!  I spent most of the morning saying hello to folks on our staff, who loved on me and welcomed me home.  Sammy Frame and I met for a long time and he brought me up to speed on as much as he could.  Then I spent some time with Beth Stoddard to debrief about our Sunday morning experiences and then I spent some time with Tony Tomandl to talk about our metrics.  Then I returned some calls (there are still a lot of those to make!) and some emails (ugh...those might never be caught up!) and worked on some of the speaking and teaching events that are coming up for me.

What was most surprising to me today was how comfortable it felt.  From the moment I walked into the building, it was clear that 1) folks were glad I was back, and 2) the team had led our church incredibly well without me.

So, the Adventure of my Sabbatical is over.  But there is a new, exciting, and slightly unanticipated adventure in front of me.  This adventure is one where I'm still leading at PCC, but I'm leading in a different way.  What am I talking about?  I'm not exactly sure.  But there is something very good - VERY good - that has happened here over this summer.  God had done a new thing - a powerful thing - in our staff and leadership. And I'm excited to uncover, with them, exactly what that is.

Thanks for the touches from lots of folks today.  It's good to be home.

me, John Tiller and a Mahi-Mahi

Me and my Dad

We caught 59 Mahi Mahi and 2 Wahoo!