Today, I talked about the story in 1 Kings 12 of how Rehoboam got bad advice, followed that bad advice, and divided his country and his people forever. It was a path with monumental consequences. I shared 4 things for you to consider (that I learned out of this story) when getting advice. Some folks said they wanted to write these down, but had no way to do it, so I thought I'd give it to you here:
1) What is their motive? Is it your best interest? Do they have the best interest of your family? Or do they have a hidden agenda...an ulterior motive? The young men who gave Rehoboam poor advice were also trying to tell the King what he wanted to hear. Good advisers think the best and tell the truth.
2) What is their process? Good advisers listen carefully, trying to fully understand the situation before they give advice. Steven Covey, in his famous teaching The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People lists habit 4 as 'Seek first to understand, then to be understood.' This is about listening empathically....diagnosing before prescribing. Does the person giving you advice really listen and understand and ask questions?
3) What is their experience? Experience can come through the wisdom of having lived life for a while. It can also come from having gone through a particular set of circumstances similar to yours. The elders who advised King Solomon had seen the oppression of the people. They heard the grumblings. They experienced the experiment and knew that it was headed for failure. A new method was needed. A new philosophy was required. If the Kingdom was to be healthy, they needed to respond to the changing culture. The world had changed…and those with experience and collective wisdom knew it. Does the person giving you advice have the wisdom that age or circumstances can provide?
4) Where is their faith? Specifically, does their advice point you towards God…draw you closer to God, or does it pull you away? You want advisers that help you engage with God.
Hope this helps!
Brian
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