How much freedom should I give my teen to explore faith questions?by Angie Frame
This is one of my primary goals as a youth pastor. While this makes most parents nervous, it really excites me! When junior high students come into our ministry from churched backgrounds, they come with their parents’ faith. When students exit our ministry into young adulthood, I hope they’ve begun the process of making their faith their own. I aim to provide safe environments for students to question and explore their beliefs, so that when they enter the adult world, they will be at least somewhat prepared.
Young adulthood is when many of us figure out who we are. We are confronted with a variety of lifestyles, choices, ideas, and beliefs, especially on college campuses. We have the freedom to become who we want to be, often apart from the daily presence of our families or home churches. If we have learned in adolescence that it’s okay to examine our faith, then we can better traverse the freedoms and choices of adulthood. We can stand more securely when we are confronted with new questions and challenges.
It’s no accident that this process often happens in youth ministry. Until at least age 11, we are developmentally incapable of the cognitive (brain) processes required for making our faith our own. Beginning as early as age 11, our brains can work differently—they can explore hypothetical situations; they can see multiple sides to an issue; they can imagine ideal circumstances.
If you’re a parent of a teen, then you might recognize some of the signs that your teenager is moving into the stage of cognitive development called “formal operations”:
The person can evaluate a person’s behavior verses their stated principles.
The person can imagine ideal parents, families, schools, and churches, so they become critical of the real parents, families, schools, and churches in their lives.
The person can imagine ideal circumstances and becomes interested in political and social causes.
The person recognizes that others have different beliefs and ideas from their own.
The person analyzes their own beliefs, ideas, and attitudes.
I said above that our brains can begin working differently as early as age 11. However, some people live their entire lives without ever growing into this stage of development. Some people cannot see other sides of issues. Some do not let themselves question their beliefs, and thus hinder their own brain development. Some cannot engage in healthy dialogue with people who hold different beliefs.
So, whether we’re 11 or 45, how can we move into the highest level of brain development known as “formal operations”?
We can dialogue with people whose beliefs are vastly or slightly different from ours.
We can take the opposing side in an argument or play “devil’s advocate” in a conversation.
We can present two sides of an issue without revealing our own prejudice.
We can listen to preachers and read authors with whom we disagree.
*This growth can only happen through interaction with others. Small groups, whether for youth or adults, are ideal settings for these interactions!
Parents, model this kind of thinking about your faith with your kids once they reach age 11. When they are exposed to different beliefs, whether nuances of Christianity or different religions, engage your kids in conversation, being careful not to mandate that they agree with you. Allow them to examine their faith now, while you still have the influence of a daily, tangible presence in their lives.
*This information about cognitive development comes from Swiss psychologist, Jean Piaget.
No comments:
Post a Comment