Important Notes on a Difficult Subject

Today at church, we looked at the issue of pornography. It was a tough day, wasn't it? Still, God showed up and some people got the answers they needed. Pray that they would execute the decisions they made today. God never robs us of our ability to choose the direction of our lives. This choice - the choice to stop looking at porn - is difficult. Like any addiction, it requires firm resolve.

I do need to clarify two things I said today, both during the first service. Then I want to give you a brief outline of the steps, scripture and a link that I referred to today.

Clarification #1:  I mentioned that I had gotten an unusual number of responses ahead of this Sunday's message.  (usually they come after)   Then I said something like, "I'm not surprised by who I heard from, but by how many people I heard from."  Man...if I could have that one over again!  The words just didn't communicate the thought, and sometimes that happens.  What I was trying to relay was that I don't stand in shock of anything anyone tells me...that there is no measure of disappointment or judgment on my part toward anyone to tells me that they struggle with this (or any other) sin.  

I am really sorry if this statement offended someone...I honestly just didn't communicate what I intended.  (By the way:  many people over the years have asked me why I write out - in manuscript - my messages...this is why!  I had an ad lib moment and got tangled up.)

Clarification #2:  During the first service, I did not mention that you need to come clean with anyone other than your spouse, but I intended to.  Coming clean is important for married and for single people alike.   You need to put some people in your life who you grant permission to hold you accountable.  

I'm really glad that we have such an effective team.  It was because of two people on our team that I even caught these two things and was able to fix them before the second service.

Now to the notes for today.  For you or someone you know who struggles with porn, you need to do five things.  Here they are, with scripture references and links.

First, using Genesis 2:9, 3:6-7 we concluded that porn was not just a sin of sight, but of the combination of  God-given qualities:  vision (sight), imagination, and sexuality.  

Definition:  The sin of pornography is in the combining of natural, God-given characteristics and using them in very ungodly ways. Specifically, when you mix together vision, imagination and sexuality, and you apply that potion in a way other than God had in mind, you are playing with fire.  

References:  Genesis 2:9, 3:6-7, Matthew 6:22-23

Five Steps To Beating Your Porn Problem:

1. Commit.  Make a firm commitment to stop.  Job 31:1 says  "I made a solemn pact with myself never to undress a girl with my eyes."  (The Message)  Make a promise to yourself and to God – a solemn pact, a sacred oath - that this day marks the end of porn for you.  No more Internet surfing, no more steamy romance novels, no more fantasy conversations in chat rooms, no more late night movies, no more letting your imagination run with images that bombard you in everyday life, no more anything that causes you to lust after someone else.

2.  Quit.  Quitting requires putting the mechanisms in place to ensure you keep your commitment.  Matthew 18:8-9 says "If your hand or your foot causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." 

If you have to get rid of your computer, turn off the satellite or cable, quit your job or throw out the TV, it will be worth it.  Do whatever it takes to finally and completely quit.  

3. Come Clean.  Come clean with your spouse. Come clean with a few friends.  People close to you already know there is a problem.  And someone close to you (like your spouse) probably already knows what it is.  Tell them.  Apologize.  Ask for help.  Matthew 10:26 says"...There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known."  Jesus also said, "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free."

4. Connect with God. James 4:8a says, "Come near to God and he will come near to you." 

5. Confess. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

There are a number of resources available for those who struggle with pornography or have someone in your family who does. If you click here you can find some help.

I also recommend an Internet accountability device, like eyepromise.  Take a look at this video.

Building With Bricks!

Last Sunday was our first opportunity to walk through the new building.  If you missed the tour, check out the video below for a taste of what several hundred of us experienced last Sunday.  It was awesome!  

During the tour, many of you heard about the opportunity to buy a brick for our patio on the back of the property.  Here's the scoop:  PCC is selling commemorative bricks that will be placed in a patio we will construct directly outside the back door in the Atrium. These bricks sell for $50 each. You can buy one (or more) in honor of someone you care about or in memory of someone special. These bricks will be engraved with up to 3 lines of text with about 15 characters per line available.   This is the only opportunity anywhere in the building we have to place an item in honor of, or in memory of someone.

Besides creating a functional patio, this is also a fundraiser for PCC. The monies raised with these bricks will go to help fund some of the capital needs we have – like chairs, tables, etc. Be sure and let your family and friends know that they can help too. Perhaps they would want to buy a brick in honor of you or a grandchild. Anyone can participate, whether or not they attend PCC.

In order to have this patio installed with your bricks by our grand opening date, we need to place the order in early June. Please have your orders into the office no later than June 1st; include the money for each brick and what you would like it to say.  You can also put this information in the offering basket or boxes on Sunday.

Call the office (804-598-1174) or email Lori Wheeler (lori.wheeler{at}powhatancc{dot}org) or Dennis Green (dennis{at}powhatancc{dot}org) with your orders and/or your questions.

One last thing- should you want to use a credit card to pay for these bricks, we hope to have that ability by May 10th. Keep an eye here for more details.

PCC Tour Sample from JB Media on Vimeo.

My Question about Hell and Satan

We received a few questions about the last days, hell, satan, etc.  and I decided to do a video post for you to address them instead of writing about it.

In case it's easier, you can also see it on YouTube by clicking here.

Thoughts on Yesterday

I'll say something about this picture in a minute...

I've been thinking a lot today about yesterday.  I've heard from an unusual amount of folks who have shared all kinds of stories with me.  People who have struggled with depression for a long time.  Some who've been on medicine - for a little while or for years.  Some who were motivated to go get help through counseling and others who realize they need a doctor's help. Most expressed a need to reconnect with God.  

It's interesting because this series, "The Way Out" has brought a lot of response before the services.  I've been getting FB messages and emails from folks a week or two before we even talked about the subject.  Seems that people are looking for a way to get their stuff on the table - permission to tell the truth, and solutions for breaking free.

There was so much more to say yesterday.  I could have talked for a lot longer.  There are questions with the text I wanted to go after.   For example, I just brushed by the statement the angel made to Elijah "the journey is too much for you".  That could have been a sermon all by itself.  And then, God asks Elijah several times, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"  What a loaded question.  So much to say there.  I encourage you to go to your Small Group and find the time to spend studying 1 Kings 18-19.  The movement from 1 Kings 17 to the end of the book and see how Elijah's journey helps us on our own.  It's fascinating.  

It is obvious to me that we are helping some people here.  The secret sin of all secret sin hasn't been dealt with yet, though.  Pornography is probably the greatest case study in irony I've ever seen, because study after study indicates that a huge percentage of people look at it, but almost nobody ever talks about it.  We're going to.  We're not going to beat anyone up, but we are going to help people get it on the table so that they can begin to beat the demon that is hurting them and tearing their soul and their families apart - directly or indirectly.

Don't shy away from inviting people to church this week.  You have no idea who needs this message.  And even if they don't struggle with the subject, they'll still be blessed knowing that we aren't afraid to tackle it.  By the way, it applies to pre-teens and teenagers, too.

The building tours were awesome...It really was heartwarming to see so many people come.  We're getting close to moving in, and that facility will help us be more effective at reaching people and guiding them to become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ.  

I finished the day with a wedding.  It was an unusual, family only wedding of some folks I've come to know and love.  It was a fantastic way to end the day.

Oh, the picture.  People have asked what adjustments I made in my life to change the pace at which I was living.  I confess that this is a struggle and I suspect it will be for the rest of my life.  The awareness that I have to do some things differently and (the experience of the consequences for not) is compelling.  So, I'm being much more deliberate about spending time with my family...and NOT working while I'm with them.  Last week, on Spring Sreak, we took a day and went to DC to the Smithsonian.  Today is a work day for me, but we'll pick the kids up from school a little later and take them out on the boat for the rest of the day.

Also, I'm being careful about what I do with all of my time.  I say this to you to help you think about your time.  Think about how you need to adjust.  For example, I am trying to only meet with people who I can really help.  People who are in situations where my knowledge or experience can really add value.  Some people want to meet with the 'pastor', but the truth is that he's nothing special.  What most people need is a good friend.  I can help you find one who will be far more effective than I would, because they will offer you the real support you need.  We only have room enough for a few close friends.  That applies to all of us.  I've decided that I don't help anybody by trying to please everybody.  I just wear myself out.  I'm going to do the things I'm best at, and leave the other stuff to people who are best at that (either because of their position, proximity, expertise, experience, skill, etc.).  For example, I'm not a good counselor.  If you need counseling, I can get you in touch with a great one.  Does this make sense?  I care deeply about people...and I'm learning to care enough to say, "I think that you need  ____________  instead of a meeting with me.  Why don't you let me help connect you with ________."

Anyway, sorry about the long post today.  I could write a book on the awesome day yesterday was! 

10B4

Did you miss this week's 10B4? Lots of great stuff going on.

Take a look!

Response to last Sunday

It's been a pretty amazing week, hearing from people who have some kind of addiction responding to last week's topic.  Several folks have taken a pretty bold step.  As I said last Sunday, "in order to get clean, you have to come clean."  I talked about coming clean with yourself...admitting you are an addict.  Coming clean with your family.  Not that they don't already know (your addiction is not a secret, even if you think it is).  Coming clean with God.  Coming clean with some close friends who can love you, support you, and hold you accountable.

As I responded to one person, I spent some time thinking about the last part - the part about friends.  Why is it so important to come clean with friends?  Well, we tend to be a little too emotionally involved with our spouse.  If they try to hold us accountable to not drinking or not getting high, we tend to feel like they are nagging...it makes us mad...we argue and fight.  People in our immediate family are always going to do some accountability with us (try leaving your socks on the floor or not cleaning up your dishes and see what happens).  But, generally speaking, they make poor accountability partners.

You can't get strangers to do it.

Acquaintances aren't good either, because we don't tend to tell people who are not real friends our deepest darkest secrets.

Real friends are where it's at, in terms of accountability.  There is just the right balance there between closeness and distance.  They know enough about you to understand when to speak and when to listen, yet they don't have the baggage with our habits that our family has.

I’m not suggesting that there is some magic in telling other people, but that your closest friends are best positioned to make you better than you are. Were it not for my closest friends and my decision to confide in them, I think that, by now, I would have wrecked my marriage, ruined my ministry, and destroyed my life.  I'm not kidding.  

Your close friends are supposed to be people that God placed in your life to make you better than you are (and vice versa, by the way).   Once you confide in them that you have a problem, they are equipped to do their part…and give you the support help that you’ve always needed. I think this is critical. 

Note to all you friends:  If someone confides in you and comes clean, don't drop the ball.  Ask them for permission to help; ask them what kinds of questions you have permission to ask and how often.  And then do it.  You are the instrument God has placed in your friend's life.  Take a chance, stretch, and watch God work through you.

One last note:  If you don't have good friends that really care about you, we can help you find them.  

Our new builidng is really cool...

Last night, most of our staff gathered with some energetic-type folks with projecting-type voices for the purpose of tour training.  We met at the site of our new building to walk them through the tours that they would be giving this coming Sunday (April 26).  

The building is coming along so fast...every time I go inside, something dramatic has changed.  When I went in there last night, it was so awesome to see that they had actually started painting.  It's not just a rough building anymore...it's actually starting to feel like a real facility where we can do real ministry!

You will not want to miss the tours we are doing on Sunday.  Here's how it will work:

• Hot dogs and drinks will be ready at 12:30 and you can come anytime from that point on. 
• The actual tour begins at 1:30.  
• We're expecting at least a couple hundred people (maybe a lot more).  
• There will be plenty of parking 
• Lots of precautions have been taken, so your kids are welcome to come.  
• Remember that this is still a construction site, with plenty of dust.  You are not going to get filthy, but you might not want to wear your nicest shoes, either.
• The tours will begin with a 'shotgun start'.  This means that each tour group of 10-15 people will start in a different location, but we will all start at the same time. 
• The tours will be over around 2:45.
• There will be plenty of opportunity for you to ask your questions.

Don't miss it.  It will be a great day!!!