The Ever Elusive Balance

Susan and I have a little phrase we say to each other when we've gone several days without spending any time together. One of us will ask, "What's your name again?"

We've been asking that question far too much lately.

My mentor for many years - Cecil Sherman - also had a saying about kids. Talking about the seasons of the child-parent relationship, Dr. Sherman would say, "For 6 years you have them. For 6 years you share them. And for 6 years, they're leaving." That home-made proverb certainly was true for my relationship with my kids.

• For the first 3rd of their childhood, they were my shadow, under my feet all the time, always wanting to be where I am.
• For the middle third, they loved being with me, but only if they could have a friend come, too.
• For the final phase - friend or not - they really weren't all that interested in hanging out with Dad.

It's ok, because I now have one who's 21 (22 next month) and she's starting to enjoy hanging out again. It's the way of life. And I'm ok with it.

But there is an interesting thing happening with me, and I bet that this is also common for others. As my first two children are grown (over 18) and the 'baby' is still a child (12 years old next week), Susan and I have started to behave a lot like 'empty nesters'. We find ourselves working all the time. Without the 'common cause' of the children to rally around (which is premature, really, because Joshua still needs us), we have moved into this pattern where we just pass each other. We both work all day, but then I have meetings on Tuesday evening, she has them on Monday evening, we both have them on Wednesday evening. Small group here, a wedding for me there, throw in a little maintenance on the house that needs to be done...

The next thing we know, literally weeks have gone by and we've spent virtually NO meaningful time together!

So, this week, on Monday, we both said, "Enough!" We agreed that this pattern HAS to stop! We needed to go away, invest some real time with each other and figure out how to live in a new way. I cleared my calendar on Thursday after lunch so that I could spend the afternoon with Joshua (I took him to see a movie and some other stuff). And later that night, Susan and I left for one of our new, favorite getaway places - a moutainside house in Rileyville, Virginia.

We sat on the back deck, overlooking the valley and the Shenandoah River and watched the sun go down behind the opposing mountain range. The beauty was stunning and indescribable. Even the birds seemed to pause in reverence, as if bowing to the parting immanence.

We sat - talking at times, silently at others, and enjoyed the cool breeze, the sounds of the cicadas, the view of the small white church building (you can see it in the middle of the picture), the over-full river and the little farms.

We started to dream again about slowing down, enjoying each other, enjoying our family, enjoying our lives. We dreamed of the future - tomorrow and ten years from now.

Why is it that when balance is found, it doesn't remain? How could I forget how important time like this is to being healthy? What would possibly motivate me to put anything above a steady, consistent, disciplined, large investment of time into being with her?

Of all the ways God has blessed me, none except Jesus himself surpasses the gift she is to me. She completes me, steadies me, takes care of me, helps me think more clearly. She makes me far better than I am. I am a steward of my time with her and my relationship with her. I can maximize that for all it's worth...or I can squander it, wasting that investment on things that will bring a far less valuable return.

And life if far too short for me to look back and wish I had worked less and loved her more.

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The Blessing God wants for You

If God tells you to do it, He is going to bless you through it!

That was the repeating mantra in my message yesterday. I think that the story of Joshua is a fantastic illustration of this reality, but there are many others, too.  (You can watch yesterday's service at PCC here.)  

"Blessing" can come in many forms.  But I believe there is one kind of blessing that God wants for every single devoted follower of His.

Take, for instance, the priests who carried the Ark into the middle of the Jordan River.  Their blessing was being able to stand in the middle of the miracle and know that God used them and their faith to make the miracle happen.  They did not make the miracle, but they were God's catalysts for the miracle.  

Think about it like this:  When we sit around and talk with our friends, we often recount our experiences, don't we?  The size of the monster fish we caught last week; the vacation we took to a new place; a great speaker, musician, band or comedian we got to see; something we saw our kid do; a date we went on; a special day with our spouse or our parents.  

Many of those events are 'average', but some of those experiences become Epic...Experiences of a Lifetime.  They are the pictures that hang on the walls in our homes, the memories that we will never forget, and the stories we tell over and over again.

Often, the blessing God wants to give you is an experience like that!  

After the 2 million+ Israelites entered the Promised Land, they would celebrate the land that God gave to them, and they would be thankful for it.

But those few men who took that one step into the perilous, unrestrained river, trusting God to do His part, believing that He had spoken and told them to move on faith - when those men talked about the 'blessing', the story they told wasn't about the promised land, it was about their experience crossing the River.  Their story was about taking a stand in the middle of the River, on dry ground - the evidence of the miracle as real as a visible, tsunami-sized wall of water behind an invisible barrier, held back by the hand of God Himself.   The story they would tell would be about the one step they took into danger, and how God followed their step of faith by stretching the laws of physics. 

God wants YOU to have experiences like this.  It's part of his Blessing Matrix that I believe God wants every follower of Jesus Christ to have.  To KNOW that you were a part of a miracle!  All it takes is one step of faith - not of your choosing - but of God's.

Perhaps God wants you to go somewhere - like on a mission to a far away place.  Or maybe He's telling you to stretch and get involved - working with a cause like feeding the hungry or helping the homeless.  It could be that God is telling you to actually ditch some things on your calendar and serve at PCC somewhere - like really give serious time.  Or God may be calling you to give some serious money.  Or take a risk and tell someone about your relationship with Jesus and how He has changed your life.

All of these things require that you risk something...give up something...take a real step of faith.

But you can be sure of this:  If God tells you to do it, He is going to bless you through it!

So why not pray a lot, swallow hard, and step out on the water.  Go for it!  And be a part of an incredible miracle of God that comes out of your single step of faith!

BAPTISM RESCHEDULED

I'm so sorry, but the weather these past two days has dumped enough rain into the James River to make it dangerous.  We've been inspecting it regularly over the past two days, hoping that the water might recede, but it's just too high, flowing too fast, making it too dangerous.

So, we are rescheduling tomorrow's baptism to the fallback date of June 23 (TWO weeks from tomorrow).  Next week is Father's day, which is why we are not doing it then.

The time will be the same.  The Baptism is June 23 at 4pm.  Everyone being baptized needs to be there at 3pm.

I'm sorry again, it's just one of those things that we cannot control.

See you at church tomorrow!

Brian

A Potent but Risky Exercise for your Spiritual LIfe

Yesterday at PCC, the services were about Rahab the Prostitute from Joshua 2.  I looked back over all the messages (sermons) I have ever developed (I started speaking in churches regularly in 1998) and I couldn't find a single one on Rahab!  I think yesterday was the first time I've ever taught on Joshua 2.  You can see the whole service here.

So, today, I was reading in Matthew and found something interesting that Jesus said and it was uncanny, since it had a lot to do with Rahab:

Matthew 21:28-32, Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees and the religious leaders and says:

“What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’

29 “‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

30 “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.

31 “Which of the two did what his father wanted?”

“The first,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. 32 For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.

Did you see it?  The "tax collectors and the prostitutes" are entering the kingdom of God ahead of the very religiously devout!  Why?  Because even though the 'tax collectors and prostitutes' initially have lived in a way that was not obedient to God, they were open to Him, eventually believed in Him and took action base on that belief.  They changed their lives because of what they knew!

Jesus is making the point of the Rahab story - that it isn't about knowledge (the knowledge of the religious leaders was vast).  Rather, it's about faith in action.  Those who are willing to respond to God's voice based on what they know (whether it is a little or a lot) are the one's who are "entering the kingdom of God."

James, the brother of Jesus, wrote this:

You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.

25 In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? 26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead. (James 2:24-26)

So, take some time today and reflect on where you are right now.  What do you know about God?  What are those core beliefs deep inside of you?  Go ahead, list them...write them down, each on a separate line.  (They might include things like:  I know God is alive; I know God cares about me;  I know God is powerful;  I know God is personal;  I know God wants to use me;  I know God cares about the poor, etc.)

Now, pray and ask God to show you the truth about yourself.  Be still and quiet and listen for His voice.  Ask Him this question:  "With each of these things that I wrote down that I know about God, how is my life tangibly lived in a different way because of what I know?"

In other words, what action am I taking because of these truths?  Are they just academic, intellectual knowledge for me, or is my life notably changed because of them?  Is my behavior or choices different?  Ask God to show you the areas in which you need to take action.

You can make a MAJOR difference this weekend!

For some kids, the only substantial food they get is the lunch they eat while at school.  There are government programs for these kids that pay for all or a substantial part of the cost of their lunch.  

For many, food at home is scarce and meals are rare.  They just go hungry!  Most of us have no idea what that feels like.  Most of us cut back by eating out less and at home more.  These kids' families  cut back by not eating at all.

You can help!  And it will cost you very little.

This weekend, Susan and I will be going to shopping - not for ourselves - but for these kids!

One of PCC's primary mission partners is Backpacks of Love.  Every Friday, backpacks are delivered to each Powhatan school and distributed confidentially to the kids who receive meals subsidies. There are about 144 backpacks going out each week, and over 5,000 meals have been delivered so far since this movement began just a couple of years ago.

The stories we have heard take my breath away.  These kids can't wait for their backpack every Friday, because for many, it's the only food they get all weekend.   It breaks my heart.  With all the resources we have in our families and in our homes, we shouldn't allow a single child to be hungry!  And with summer coming, there is a group of kids who will come to summer school who will need our help.

So - at both of our physical campuses - PCC is doing a food drive!

We need to raise a summer's worth of food, and we can do it!

Below is a list of items that are needed.  Why not load up some extra stuff this weekend and bring it to church?  We'll still be collecting food on June 9, too, if you want to bring your stuff then.

On behalf of hungry kids who need our help, thank you for feeding them!

‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?...The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:37,40)

Introduction to Joshua

Introduction to the Book of Joshua

I read the Bible just about every day.  Sometimes I'm following someone else's prescribed plan.  Often, I'm reading this book of the Bible or that one, choosing the next book based on where I think God is leading me.  A few months ago, I had spent a heavy amount of time in the New Testament and felt I needed to balance my study with a return to the Old Testament.  Joshua is where I began.  I had read it before, but it came alive for me in so many ways this time.  I felt that God was speaking to me profoundly with every turn of the page.  That's how this series we're doing at PCC came to be.

There are so many practical applications from the life of Joshua for you and me, I have had a hard time deciding on a few texts to cover in our Sunday morning services.  But this blog is a way that you can encounter God personally, by digging into the text for yourself.  I'll guide you a little along the way, but make no mistake about it:  The God behind the events in the Bible is the same God who speaks through the Bible.  You can hear from Him, but you have to dedicate a little time and focus.

To get us ready, let's peer into a little of Joshua's background and set the scene.

In case you don't know, the Israelites are the people God chose as His special people.  Abraham was the first, then his son Isaac, then Isaac's son Jacob.  God changed Jacob's name to 'Israel', which is where we get the name we use for the Jewish nation to the this very day.  ('Israelite' and 'Jew' and 'Hebrew' are all  interchangeable in the Bible and represent the same people group).

The opening lines of Exodus tell us that the Egyptians felt threatened by the Jews and took them all as slaves and put them into hard forced labor.  God answered their cries for help and sent Moses to deliver them from captivity and into the land God promised to give to Abraham's descendants.

But those same people who had witnessed God's power and His miracles later rebelled against Him.  So, God's judgment was that they would not enter the 'Promised Land', but their children would.

Joshua is one of only two adults who had the distinct privilege of walking in the 'Promised Land' who had also personally experienced slavery in Egypt (Caleb was the other one).

So, who was Joshua, exactly?

Well, what we know for sure is that Joshua was Moses' aid and second in command.  He had been tested and mentored by Moses and proved himself to be coachable, loyal, strong and courageous.

Just for one example, let's take a look at Numbers 13-14.  Moses sent twelve men to scout out the territory of the Promised Land.  They came back and said, "...We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large....We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” And they spread among the Israelites a bad report about the land they had explored. They said, “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size..." (Numbers 13: 27-28, 31-32, NIV)

But not all of them agreed.  "Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite assembly, “The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good.  If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us.  Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.” (Numbers 14:6-9)

Joshua was proving himself able to withstand the pressure from the outside - pressure from the people - even before he was appointed the leader of the nation.

Joshua wasn't simply a 'yes man' for Moses.  He was trained to understand that the real power wasn't in Moses hand, but in the Hand of God.  For example, take a look at what happened in Exodus 17:9-13

Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.”  So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill.  As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.  So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

This account becomes legendary, and you can be absolutely sure that Joshua knew it.  Joshua was able to accompany Moses part of the way up the mountain when God delivered the Law to Moses.  What do you think they talked about on the way down?!

Joshua was being groomed for years - decades even - to lead the people.  Why was he so effective?  Because he was coachable.  He never developed an "I know everything there is to know" mentality.  He never coveted Moses' position and secretly wished he would just get out of the way.  No, Joshua coveted Moses teaching and was grateful for the investment that Moses made in him.

Perhaps, as we begin this journey, you can consider the people who God has put in your life to pour into you.  Is your attitude right...good...grateful?  Have you thanked them - ever or lately - for their investment in you?  Do you ever tell them the difference they have made in you - how they have helped you be a better person and follower of God?  Shouldn't you?

On the flip side, who are the people around you that God has put in your life as your 'Joshua'?  Are you taking the responsibility to pour into them seriously?

My prayer is that we all have a 'Moses' and a 'Joshua' somewhere in our lives.  I do, most of the time, have a few folks I'm really investing in and pouring into - these are Joshua's.  They are moldable, coachable, and they soak up what I teach them.  I also have one or two 'Moses' types, who are coaching me.

I hope you'll reflect on that now, but also as we continue this journey.  Tomorrow, we'll dive in to the Book of Joshua!

Why Churches are Dying

I had two very interesting conversations today.  I say 'interesting' because they came immediately after yesterday's timely topic at PCC, but were with people who aren't PCC'ers!  Neither of these folks has ever been to our church, but I know both of them from some other circles.  AND... they were completely independent of each other.  AND...both wanted to talk about why some churches grow and most don't.

One is a committed member of another church in the area.  He's a friend and we often talk, but not always about church.  He was shocked when I shared the statistics:  less than 1 in 5 Americans go to church today.  The number of people who don't to church grows by one million each year.  He asked, "Is that because people are less moral and don't want to hear the church's positions?" His question was honest.  He genuinely wanted to know why fewer and fewer people are going to church.

"Not really," I said.   People want to live good lives and do the right thing.  They are highly spiritual, and are generally open to God and the truth about Jesus. But they no longer see the church as a legitimate partner in their spiritual journey.  Why?

There are lots of reasons that people give.   If you ask someone why they don't go to church, they might say things like:

• I don't have time to go to church, or 
• Church is boring, or 
• All the church wants is my money, or
• The church is full of hypocrites, or
• I feel beat up and judged when I go to church, or...

I've heard all of these answers, plus a lot of others.  I ask people all the time.  And an increasingly common answer is given to me in the form of a question:

Why should I go to church?

From their perspective, the church doesn't care about them...the church cares about insiders, not outsiders.  Think about it:  the church speaks its own language, has its own insider culture, its own dress code and procedures.  Everyone knows when to stand up, sit down, bow and pray.  Everyone knows the words to the Lord's Prayer, the Doxology and other ceremonial rituals.  When the pastor says, "Turn in your Bible to the book of Habakkuk", he's making a subtle statement:  you should have brought your Bible.  If you didn't, people are looking!  So, everyone opens their Bible and turns quickly to Habakkuk.  An outsider - IF he brought a Bible at all, is still in the table of contents by the time the Scripture reading is over!  And when the pastor says "sanctified" or "justified" or "holified", everyone nods in affirmation, unanimously affirming that they know what those words mean.  (holified is not a real word, by the way, in case you were wondering!)

The outsider often feels embarrassed at best or like an idiot.

So, if you come to church as an outsider, you are identified - either overtly or subtly.  You are noticed.  You might even have to stand up and tell everyone, "Hi, I'm Bill.  I'm not a churchgoer."

Who likes to feel like an outsider?

And guess what?  Bill doesn't HAVE to feel like an outsider!  He thinks, "Why would I want to do that when I can hang out with the fellas or my family?"

You see, when the church quit caring about meeting people where they are (see Sunday's message here), it lost its privilege to speak into peoples lives.  And now, people see the church as completely irrelevant.  Their question could come another way:  What does the church have to do with me?

In other words, they're giving fewer excuses and, with bewilderment, saying, 'Why are you even asking me this question'?

A couple of generations ago, EVERYONE went to church.  You were looked down upon if you didn't go.  There was peer pressure from the entire community to attend.  Today, just the opposite is true.  People can work, play, sleep in, do their home repairs, go to the river, watch the game, cut the grass.  THAT'S NORMAL TODAY!  And with all of these things, what they are saying is, "I find more value in investing my time in those activities than I do in investing my time at church." They are prioritizing their time, just like you and I do, and doing what they see as most valuable.

What the church has to do, if it wants to regain the privilege of speaking into people's lives, is become a valuable resource.  We have to be something brings so much value, they'll choose to come invest an hour or two of their time with us...choosing church over the river, chores, work, sleeping in or watching the game.  We have to meet people where they are, just like Jesus did. Just like He wanted His church to do.  Just like the early church did.

Until it didn't.

This is why we do music styles that are current or classic instead of dated.  It's why we deal with topics, life stages, events, circumstances, emotions and issues that people are dealing with or thinking about and that can help them live better, more healthy, more God-intended lives.  It's why we pay attention to new cultural patterns, how people learn and engage today in different ways than they did in the past.

Our message will never change:  Jesus is alive!  He is God!  And the only way to a full, rich life (this life and the next) that reaches the zenith of its potential is through Him!

But our methods will always be changing, so that we can meet people where they are...just like Jesus did, and His first followers, and the Apostle Paul and the early church.  This is how we become part of the spiritual conversation again, and it's why people are discovering the truth about Jesus at PCC.

When people ask me, "Why is PCC able to get people to come to church?" my short answer is this:
We quit caring about what WE wanted.  We lay down our own preferences and desires and live into this one truth: Jesus died for us.  Our lives are FULL because of Him - regardless of what kind of music is playing!  We care about what Jesus cares about - people!  People who are far from Him, desperate for Him.  We care about helping them live life to the fullest, which can only happen when they discover Jesus Christ and they will only discover Jesus Christ when the church starts meeting them where they are.  That's what we do.  And may it ALWAYS be so!