Sunday, July 7, 2013

5 Reasons to NOT pinch your nerve

This is the first time I've been basically bedridden.  According to my doctor, 70% of people who have a pinched nerve at C6 get better over time with rest and physical therapy.  He told me that I would very likely NOT be in the 70%, based on my MRI and the symptoms I was showing. My experience so far has proven him right, as I've basically done NOTHING physical for two weeks, and my condition has not improved at all.  In some ways, it's gotten worse.

At first, it's not bad being restricted to bedrest.  You get waited on and doted over.  People let you know they are praying for you.  If you try to do something, you get yelled at. "Stop washing the dishes!  I'll get that, you go back to bed!" And you get to watch all the movies and TV you want.

But after a few days it gets old.  Really old.  So, I tried to venture out a little.  Yesterday, Susan and I took Joshua (our 12 year old) to see a movie.  An hour into it, I was in so much pain that I was soaking wet with sweat.  It got worse by the minute.  It got so bad I started to get nauseous.  I needed to lay down.  So, I called Daniel (our 18 year old) and had him come pick me up and take me home while Susan and Joshua finished the movie.

I'm not depressed.  I know what that is.  I'm mentally healthy.  I'm just tired of laying down, doing nothing, staying home.  Surgery, which most people dread, couldn't come fast enough for me.  I'm counting down the days to July 16 like a kid counts down to Christmas.

So, just for fun, here are 5 reasons you don't want to have a severely pinched nerve in your neck:

1) There IS such a thing as too much TV!   I love watching TV and I love movies, but I have found and surpassed my limit!   I have now watched every single episode of Law and Order: SVU - and I think there are about 10,000 episodes.  I'm quite sure that I have descended into TV hell, having watched every movie in my considerable library, and the only thing on TV is White Chicks!  (Yes, I confess, I'm watching it!)

2) Staring at the ceiling for hours reminds you that you never finished painting.  I painted my bedroom a few years ago, including the ceiling.  Clearly I'm not a painter.  I can see that I never finished and the paint is thin here and there.  I would have never known.  Thank you, pinched nerve!

3) The highlight of your day is hearing your alarm go off so you can take your next dose of medicine.  Yep, pain meds every 4 hours, muscle relaxer, anti-inflammatory.  And you don't want to forget, because if that pain medicine wears off, I can assure you that you'll regret it.  

4) They let you out of prison for 1 hour of daylight, but all you can see while you rock on the front porch is everything that is NOT getting done.  The weeds in the beds, the plants need water, the squash needs fertilizer, the driveway needs roundup, and there are at least 2 hives of ground bees that need killing.  Plus an endless list of maintenance on the house.  While you're watching more Mentalist reruns and a Tom Hanks movie marathon, the place if falling apart.  (not really, but that's how you feel.)

5) Leaving means you have to pack a bag and have a chauffeur.  On the outside chance that they give you a day-pass to leave, you feel like a 2 year old with a diaper bag, because we have to pack your medicine, a pillow, and some fruit to be sure we are prepared for anything while you're gone.  Oh yea, and you're not supposed to drive, since you're always high.  Having your 18 year old drive you around is...humbling.

So, trust me, don't pinch a nerve in your neck.  Of course, I don't really know how you avoid such an injury. But it would be worth the research.  Just wear a neckbrace.  For the rest of your life.

You can thank me later.

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