I get his blog directly emailed to me and they come basically every day. These 2 entries are both from yesterday and are very, very good. As leaders, we all have a hard time saying no sometimes. Some of us have a harder time than others because we want everyone to like us. (that’s me, by the way). But Batterson reminds us that we have to say no to some things. I reminded one of our key leaders this week that every time she says yes to something, she is automatically saying no to something else (maybe multiple things). This is because our time and energy are limited. You simply cannot do it all.
The second entry is even more powerful (for me). It reminds me of some of the tension that I feel a lot these days. Nobody intentionally or consciously created that tension for me…it isn’t there because of manipulation. But it’s there – all the time. And if we are not conscious of it and intentional about how we deal with it, we will naturally navigate towards placation and away from reaching outsiders.
So, take a look below and feel free to pass this along.
The Batterson Blog - Thoughts on Life and Leadership
Don't Say Yes Just Because It's Difficult To Say No
Posted: 07 May 2009 04:52 AM PDT
I've said this before but let me say it again: the longest and toughest two-letter word in the English dictionary is "no." Especially if you're a people pleaser. Sometimes it's so hard to utter that little word! If you struggle like I do, I hope this helps.
This week I had to make a difficult decision in a ten-minute time-frame. I won't spell out the details for a variety of reasons, but this is where my blog turns into a personal journal that helps me mark my trail and process my thoughts. This week I said "no" to a nomination for a position that was tough to turn down. Who knows how the voting would have turned out, but I felt like I needed to preclude that possibility despite the fact that, on paper, it was very appealing.
The first thing that came to mind when the opportunity was presented was a saying that has become a personal mantra: don't say yes just because it's difficult to say no. If you don't know who you are and who you're not, you'll probably say yes when you should say no. Why? Because you'll focus on the wrong thing. You'll focus on the position instead of your calling. I had to do a quick analysis of my priorities and my gifts and my responsibilities. And I knew that in light of those things, I need to say "no" even though 49% of me wanted to say yes. That is also when some pre-decisions I'd made about travel and outside commitments helped keep me in check.
I was honored and humbled by the potential nomination. And I have great respect for the leadership that wanted to nominate me and I have great loyalty to the constituency I would have potentially served. But I don't think it was the right time. And I don't think I have the right gift mix for the position. I think I can serve more effectively without the position or the title.
By the way, I have second-guessed myself a few times. That's normal. And it's definitely one of the toughest "no's" I've ever uttered. But it brought me back to ground zero: I want to be dead-center in the will of God. That is the only position that counts. That is the place of blessing. That is where God can use us most.
Centripetal Force
Posted: 07 May 2009 04:06 AM PDT
In Matthew 9:13, Jesus said: "I'm here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders." Are we trying to reach outsiders or coddle insiders? That is the $64,000 question.
One of the greatest struggles we face as pastors is centripetal force. That is the inward directed force. Jesus said "Go" which is a centrifugal command. As a church planter, you have to to focus on reaching outsiders because there are no insiders. But as a church gets older and larger, the centripetal force gets stronger! You stop taking risks and start playing it safe. You stop playing offense and start playing defense. You stop leading and start managing. You stop creating the future and start repeating the past.
Here are some reflection questions:
1) are you making decisions to placate people who already attend?
2) how much of your budget is allocated to reaching outsiders?
3) are you leading, praying, and thinking like a church planter?
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