Important Notes on a Difficult Subject

Today at church, we looked at the issue of pornography. It was a tough day, wasn't it? Still, God showed up and some people got the answers they needed. Pray that they would execute the decisions they made today. God never robs us of our ability to choose the direction of our lives. This choice - the choice to stop looking at porn - is difficult. Like any addiction, it requires firm resolve.

I do need to clarify two things I said today, both during the first service. Then I want to give you a brief outline of the steps, scripture and a link that I referred to today.

Clarification #1:  I mentioned that I had gotten an unusual number of responses ahead of this Sunday's message.  (usually they come after)   Then I said something like, "I'm not surprised by who I heard from, but by how many people I heard from."  Man...if I could have that one over again!  The words just didn't communicate the thought, and sometimes that happens.  What I was trying to relay was that I don't stand in shock of anything anyone tells me...that there is no measure of disappointment or judgment on my part toward anyone to tells me that they struggle with this (or any other) sin.  

I am really sorry if this statement offended someone...I honestly just didn't communicate what I intended.  (By the way:  many people over the years have asked me why I write out - in manuscript - my messages...this is why!  I had an ad lib moment and got tangled up.)

Clarification #2:  During the first service, I did not mention that you need to come clean with anyone other than your spouse, but I intended to.  Coming clean is important for married and for single people alike.   You need to put some people in your life who you grant permission to hold you accountable.  

I'm really glad that we have such an effective team.  It was because of two people on our team that I even caught these two things and was able to fix them before the second service.

Now to the notes for today.  For you or someone you know who struggles with porn, you need to do five things.  Here they are, with scripture references and links.

First, using Genesis 2:9, 3:6-7 we concluded that porn was not just a sin of sight, but of the combination of  God-given qualities:  vision (sight), imagination, and sexuality.  

Definition:  The sin of pornography is in the combining of natural, God-given characteristics and using them in very ungodly ways. Specifically, when you mix together vision, imagination and sexuality, and you apply that potion in a way other than God had in mind, you are playing with fire.  

References:  Genesis 2:9, 3:6-7, Matthew 6:22-23

Five Steps To Beating Your Porn Problem:

1. Commit.  Make a firm commitment to stop.  Job 31:1 says  "I made a solemn pact with myself never to undress a girl with my eyes."  (The Message)  Make a promise to yourself and to God – a solemn pact, a sacred oath - that this day marks the end of porn for you.  No more Internet surfing, no more steamy romance novels, no more fantasy conversations in chat rooms, no more late night movies, no more letting your imagination run with images that bombard you in everyday life, no more anything that causes you to lust after someone else.

2.  Quit.  Quitting requires putting the mechanisms in place to ensure you keep your commitment.  Matthew 18:8-9 says "If your hand or your foot causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." 

If you have to get rid of your computer, turn off the satellite or cable, quit your job or throw out the TV, it will be worth it.  Do whatever it takes to finally and completely quit.  

3. Come Clean.  Come clean with your spouse. Come clean with a few friends.  People close to you already know there is a problem.  And someone close to you (like your spouse) probably already knows what it is.  Tell them.  Apologize.  Ask for help.  Matthew 10:26 says"...There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known."  Jesus also said, "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free."

4. Connect with God. James 4:8a says, "Come near to God and he will come near to you." 

5. Confess. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

There are a number of resources available for those who struggle with pornography or have someone in your family who does. If you click here you can find some help.

I also recommend an Internet accountability device, like eyepromise.  Take a look at this video.