Today, the service was about how we allow others to 'fence' us in, restricting us from experiencing the full life of adventure that God has in mind. We do this because of the expectations that others place on us to be more conservative or liberal, more or less reserved, more or less excited, more or less charismatic, more or less outspoken, more or less committed...we could go on forever. You get the point. We discussed Paul's teaching in Galatians 4 and 5.
But what I want to be sure of is that we are careful to not take one part of Scripture and not consider another. Specifically, there is clear teaching in the Bible about the special relationship between a husband and wife.
I know and have known many couples who were not on the same page spiritually. One is passionate about his faith, the other is...not. He is jealous of her commitment to God and the church. She feels that he's getting 'religious'. I've sat with many couples who expressed these anxieties in various ways.
The point is to simply say this: you cannot simply ignore the obligation to your husband or wife on spiritual grounds. When Paul talked about others 'cutting in on' the church at Galatia, he was not talking about husbands and wives.
If you are in this situation - where your spouse is skeptical, unsupportive, or even angry about your commitment to God or the church, you should handle that situation with great care. Yes, God must be first in your life. However, you are also called to honor your spouse, love her, respect him - even in cases of spiritual differences.
I know this is difficult. I've seen the anguish of many husbands or wives as they struggled with this. But you should remember that a spiritual disparity is not a license to not care or to not serve your spouse the way the Bible teaches.
I'd love to hear from folks on this. You can share your story or situation anonymously, if you'd like.
See you next Sunday,
Brian
Thoughts on Life, Leadership and The Church
I think it is easy to be influenced by others and to choose to follow their path to fit it rather than to be on our own path. I have often let the fear of the opinion of others keep me from moving forward in my relationship with God. But after going around the mountain one too many times my arms are now wide open and God is doing great things in my life. Thank you for this message, it really hit home for me.
ReplyDeleteAnguish.... good word for the situation in which spouses don't share the same belief in Christ. Yes, it is very difficult.. difficult on the relationship, difficult on the family/children, difficult on self. I had heard it said that being a Christian is hard; now I live it. It was so much easier "going with the flow" and I have so often thought of giving up and going back to the way it was. That would make my marriage better, right? It would be so EASY. However, I have recognized that that is Satan talking to me. We must be strong in our Faith.. do not give in to that. It won't make it better.. how can not having Christ in your life be good at all? I understand and agree with Brian's position that we cannot ignore the obligation to your spouse on spiritual grounds. However, I do believe that it is important that we recognize that our "unbelieving" spouse can and will restrict us from experiencing the full life that God wants for us. I think once we recognize it, we can deal with it better.. preferably by respecting our spouse enough to TELL them this. Tell them how important our spirtual walk is to us, how important our relationship with Jesus is.. they will NOT understand this, but hopefully it will help in understanding your commitment to both relationships. I should not be giving advice, my relationship with my spouse is a mess, but I have been living this way for so long that I do know some things that help and some that most definately make things worse. WE MUST GIVE OUR SPOUSE OVER TO THE LORD. It is not our responsibilty to save our spouse, that is between him/her and Jesus. We must not push them, preach to them. Live by example, pray for them, be there for them when they are ready. Most importantly I have learned that you must surround yourself with other believers, be COMMITTED to a small group that will encourage you, that will keep you grounded in your faith... without this connection, without being part of the body of Christ.. it is way TOO EASY to revert back to old way of life. So, by living this, I know things that help.. but I in no way have the answer. I have the anguish.. the anguish of being unable to help them, the anguish of the conflict that is inevitable, the anquish of knowing that I am not living with arms wide open, the anquish of wanting to run the other way. But the LOVE I have from Jesus far out weighs that anquish.. wanting to please my Lord keeps me motivated to MAKE my marriage work, that is what He wants. And he loves my spouse and He wants him too.
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