More thoughts from today...

I have to tell you that this has been one of the most (maybe the most) spiritually profound Christmas seasons of my life.  I don't understand why God chose this year to move so powerfully in me - perhaps I will later.  I've tried to get inside of the various Christmas players before - Mary, Joseph, Herod, the Shepherds, the Magi, etc - and it's been meaningful enough, I suppose.  But for some reason, these past two weeks have been unbelievably moving.  And trust me when I tell you that Christmas Eve will be the most incredible December 24th ever witnessed at PCC!  The 'shock and awe' will leave you spellbound as you truly catch a glimpse of God's perspective of Christmas.  We'll see the human condition from the Divine position - and we will never be the same!

I briefly wanted to share with you that one man after another quietly gestured in the hallway to me today.  They didn't want to make a show - many didn't want their families to see that they were stopping by to talk to me.  Most of these visits were short, almost whispers, with desperate half smiles of hope and firm handshakes as they looked directly into my eyes, as if to say, "I hope so badly that my family heard you today."  A few cried.  Most tried to be strong.  Many said, "thank you," and meant it.  Others just looked at me and nodded.  But all of them shared a common bond - a code that only men fully understand and one that words cannot fully express.  We do whatever is required to take care of our families, but we often only receive ridicule for what we cannot do (our weaknesses or deficiencies) instead of acknowledgement and gratitude for what we can (our strengths).  

Joseph is poor.  He has little money, no political power, no real social standing, and now he will be judged because his wife will be deemed as impure, since she was not a virgin when they were married.  They will be looked upon as second class.

While men often say they don't care what other people think, the truth is that they care deeply what their family thinks of them.  Do you tell your dad, step dad, surrogate dad, or husband that you are thankful for him, proud of him, and believe in him; or do most of your words demean and ridicule?  Do you say more positive things about him than negative?  Here are some things you can do:

1.  Ask your close friends for feedback.  "When I talk about him, on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 would mean I think he's Jesus and 1 means I think he's evil) how do I come across?  What's my tone?  And please be honest with me?  If you aren't above a 5, you've got a lot of work to do.  You should be above a 7.

2.  Ask him (your dad, husband, etc.)  "What is your perception of how I talk to you.  Do I ridicule you, or do I treat you with respect?"  Don't argue with his answer...remember, you asked for his perception.  Then ask him this follow up question:  "What kinds of things could I do to make you feel like I respect you more?"

3.  Ask him about his fear of failure.  "Where do you feel like you are just hanging on by a thread...or almost faking it...where you just don't really know what you are doing?"  His answers might be parenting, or being a husband, or caring for his aging parents, or in areas of intimacy or raising your teenagers or in some area at work....but if he really knows you won't laugh at him, he might reveal his heart to you on this.

4.  Start making it your regular practice to tell him you are proud of him for specific reasons.  Thank him for doing whatever it is that he does.  Tell him you are with him, that you would follow him, that you support him, that you believe in him.  He'll swell up (on the inside) and move the world for you.

5.  If all of this makes you want to throw up and you completely think I'm in left field, you need to get the book Love and Respect.  Go to www.loveandrespect.com for more information.

Hope this helps.  See you on Christmas eve - 2 identical services:  5 and 7:30 pm, at Powhatan High School and childcare is available.